Mitt Romney Converts to Christianity

Presidential candidate Mitt Romney has apparently left the Mormon faith and converted to Christianity. The Traditional Values Coalition's Lou Sheldon has endorsed Romney for the 2008 presidency.

"He reads the Bible regularly. He has said -- and I asked him -- that he has received Jesus Christ as his personal Savior," the pastor declares. "He believes that Jesus Christ is the divine Son of God, only Son of God divine, and was crucified, buried and raised from the dead for our behalf. So, I think as he addresses those issues, that's certainly going to ignite good feeling [among Christians]."

Unless, of course, Sheldon has never had a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints knock on his door and make similar claims, insisting that Christianity and Mormonism are completely compatible. Obviously, it's what Romney didn't say that draws the distinction between him and his orthodox counterparts. Let's take another look at the quote, with that in mind.

"He reads the Bible regularly [as well as the Book of Mormon and The Pearl of Great Price as aids in interpreting it]. He has said -- and I asked him -- that he has received Jesus Christ as his personal Savior [From what? As long as Romney wasn't one of the 'sons of perdition', he didn't have anything to worry about to begin with ... as long as he tithes and all.]," the pastor declares. "He believes that Jesus Christ [along with his brother, Lucifer] is the [uh ... make than an 'a'] divine Son of God , only Son of God divine [if, by 'God divine' you mean someone with flesh and blood like you and me who was once like you and me and like whom we will someday be], and was crucified, buried and raised from the dead for our behalf. So, I think as he addresses those issues, that's certainly going to ignite good feeling [among Christians] [Yep, this pretty much sums up what gets Christians to the polls]."